God is Love

Burning with an unfamiliar passion, he stood up, walked out of the classroom where he spent so many hours listening to meaningless, mind numbing numbers and capitalist propaganda.  He had been on Facebook and Twitter like most good university students, following the blogo-sphere like a wizened old teacher, more connected than his one track, old as dirt, status-quo keeping professor.  The collective knowledge of so many  students being a call and response.  A certain liturgy of modern excess and convenience; the back and forth, the name calling, the approval and disapproval, love and hate.  Text and bit and bytes swirling around spreading life and death.  "Likes" and "follows", modern day "hurumphs" in an updated and (post)modern town hall meeting connecting the entire campus.  Bringing in comments from the peanut gallery, connecting the world to a small conservative Christian college.  The largest town hall meeting ever, converging on a hot button issue.  Erupting.

A small, "zine", independently created, he didn't know by whom, had appeared under his door.  Ten or so pages in length, five eight and a half by eleven pieces of paper, printed upon, folded down the center and stapled.  Stories from various anonymous authors of their lives as homosexuals at that campus.  Their moving through a life wholly other.  Interactions with therapists to find an answer for what they had been found to be... themselves.  Encouraged to flee from sin, emaciating themselves of their very being.

 He didn't know that to be true, but he felt for them.  As a member of another closeted community at this Christian college, a minority, who lack a belief in God, he felt the sting of their marginalization and desired to stand with them.  He heard the words of Jesus, whom he greatly admired, speaking of love of neighbor; imagined his footsteps among the least of these; he heard the angry voices of the status-quo keeping, though plausibly well intended Pharisees.  He heard the voice of Martin Luther King Jr., speaking, calling out loudly, speaking truth to the powers that be.  The voice of the prophets rang out in his ears, numbed and buzzing with hope for justice to roll on like a river.  And also peace like a river.  Shots would not be fired, but tempers would flare.  May peace like a river flow as well.

Touched, stabbed, prodded, called and promised by a still small voice; follow me. He stood up from his desk, closed his computer and walked out.

He walked towards the front lawn, steps short and nervous, unsure of what this irrational mind was doing.  Why are you doing this?  You left your computer, your books, possibly your degree in that room.  What about the money?  You've invested so much in this, don't throw it away for these queers.  You don't even believe in God, this isn't your fight.  You don't even know if there is a "gay gene", maybe it is a choice?

He stopped dead in his tracks.  What the hell are you doing?  He turned around, started walking back to class.  You just went to the bathroom, that's all.  He stopped again; no.  Someone needs to speak.  I'm tired of not using my voice.  He turned back around, and walked.  Resolutely, firmly, long strides.  He moved towards the front lawn.

Reaching the front lawn, he moved quickly to the center of the large grassy area.  It was too early for the usual  Frisbee throwers to have gathered.  He was alone.  He stood like a fool; dead center, staring at his feet.  Love queer, love straight, love all. If God is love, we are far from it.  If God is love, we don't know God.  He mulled these words over in his head.  Love queer, love straight, love all.  He said to himself slowly, working his lips with no sound coming out.  "If God is love, we are far from it." Whispering.  "If God is love, we don't know God."  Mumbling.

He looked up.  No one was watching him.

"Love queer, love straight, love all."
"If God is love, we are far from it."
"If God is love."
"We do not know God."
"Love queer, love straight, love all!"
"If God is love, we are far from it!"
If God is love, we do not know God!"